Old Vagabond's Place
A vanity project I'm unlikely to finish
The chap on the right is me.. Not a fine figure of a man, I admit - but not yet a total wreck. I work in the water industry as a 'Resource Analyst', which sounds very grand, and is fine as long as no-one has any resources they need analysing.

I was born in 1957, in the inner city part of Leicester, which is the dirty bit in the middle of England, and is pronounced ‘Less-stir’. My dad tells me we lived in the house next to the pub.  Something which, when I think about it, may explain a few things about my life.
My parents sent me to several schools, some of them even posh - but I stubbornly refused to do any work in any of them. I was finally ejected from the education system at the age of 15, thick but happy.

I was fired from my first job after 2 weeks, and since then I have had (I think) 42 more, few of which have been any good. I seem to get fired a lot - usually due to idleness, bad attitude, or just my big mouth. Other times I've just quit because I was bored. Though, strangely, I've lasted a few years in the water business - possibly because I finally mastered the art of corporate camouflage (clutch a piece of paper, walk fast, look worried. It seems to work), or possibly because of the drugs (of which more later). I never thought my current occupation would last long - it's sometimes hard work, and hard work and me have never really mixed.
I was one of those dirty Bikers during much of the 70s and early 80s, and would terrorise children and little old ladies. I was in a gang called the ‘Filthy Pigs’ (I didn't choose the name), and if my memory serves me correctly I was a dirty, unpleasant little prat.

I still ride a motorcycle, but my neck isn’t quite as black as it was in the old days.
Now that I'm (allegedly) grown up I live a more sedate life in Market Harborough, a small town in the county of Leicestershire, 
with my lovely wife, Patricia,
and a big green iguana I bought a few years ago when I was pissed.
my dog, Roxy
In 1994, after spending years in search of a job that would provide me with lots of easy money, I finally gave up and decided to get educated again. I restarted my education with a BTEC in Computer Studies, and to my great surprise I did quite well, and was offered a place at Leicester University in 1996 (BSc Computer Science), but I was horrified to discover I had signed up for a degree in abstract mathematical waffle. It was with great relief that I was forced to quit at the end of my second year (due to the wife’s impending redundancy), fluent in the theories of computation but still unable to find the A: drive.

Later I enrolled on one of those open learning things, and I even completed a couple of the courses.  But by now I was bored with the whole thing.

My leisure interests? Well, I used to be into precision handgun shooting (and was quite good at it), but unfortunately it was banned in Britain years ago.

 I've tried sea fishing, but I live about as far from the sea as you can get in England.

I’ve spent a small fortune on photograhy, but I still haven’t a clue how to compose a picture …

As you can probably guess, I don’t actually do much in my spare time. Most pastimes require a little effort, and that is something I usually try to avoid.

On those rare occasions when I can get my wife away from the telly (and so have the lounge to myself) I like to listen to a bit of music. My taste ranges from Led Zeppelin to Richard Wagner (I think Wagner just wins by an edge).

I have a somewhat anarchic sense of humour, which sadly has been shared by few of my bosses. It has got me into trouble on numerous occasions - and will no doubt do so again. But I can’t help it. I really find it difficult to take anything seriously - but surely that’s okay, isn’t it? We’re only given one life, and if we can’t have a bit of fun with it what’s the point?

What else can I say about myself? I hate our parasitic monarchy, I believe being a politician should be a capital offence, and I hate having to cut the grass.

If you've stayed with me this far and still haven't had enough, there are more of my ramblings behind the buttons on the sidebar.

Thank you for your visit.